FUNNY THINGS FOOTBALL COMMENTATORS SAY
Ever find yourself watching a game and wandering what language the announcer on the TV was speaking? Here’s a short glossary of terms to help Cheez-It Crackers Junior Sportscaster Search participants get through the next game:

“Hail Mary” – The quarterback throws a long pass and prays a teammate will catch it. Also referred to as a “bomb” (with or without the prayer).

“Rocket for an Arm” – NASA isn’t supplying football teams with spare parts. This just means that the quarterback can throw the ball really far.

“Missile” – Ditto for the Defense Department. A “missile” is a very accurate and generally hard-thrown pass.

“Stuffed ‘Em” – This term is used all season long, not just on Thanksgiving. The ball carrier, usually a running back, is tackled on or before the line of scrimmage, generally by several members of the defensive team at once.

“Picked Off” – Usually accompanied by words that are not fit for print, this is a pass that has been intercepted by the opposing team.

“Quarterback Sandwich” – You won’t find this in any diet book. This sandwich consists of a quarterback getting tackled by two defensive players, usually coming from two different directions – Ouch!

“Split the Uprights” – Sounds painful but if done correctly, usually is greeted with high-fives. Refers to the kicker successfully attempting a field goal or extra point.

“Bump and Run” – Not the latest dance craze but a technique used by pass defenders, where they hit a receiver once (or more) within a few yards of the line of scrimmage to slow him down, and then follow him to prevent him from catching a pass.

“Got Swagger” – Well, sometimes they actually do kind of swagger but in general this means confidence. Used most often in reference to an individual player, however, it can be used to describe the attitude of the whole team.

“Quarterback Sneak” – Yes, this actually does require some sneakiness on the part of the quarterback (though with the average QB being about 6-2 and 200 lbs. it’s hard not to see him). Used in very short yardage situations, the quarterback fakes a hand-off, keeps the ball himself and rushes for the first down.

“Turf Burn” – This one actually means what is says. Similar to rug burns, players sometimes receive them when they slide on Astroturf playing fields.

“100-Yard Dash” – There’s a little more to it since at the average track meet you don’t have 11 really big guys chasing you but in essence it’s the same. The ball carrier runs the distance of the field – 100 yards – to score a touchdown. Most often as a result of a kick-off or punt return.

“Student Body Right/Left” – This is not a political debate (not even in Washington). It’s a rushing play where the ball carrier will rush to the right (or left) side of the line and the entire team shifts in that direction to block the defense from tackling him. OK, it’s a little like a political debate.

“Hang Time” – This does not refer to spending time with friends. In football, “Hang Time” is the amount of time a punted ball is in the air.

“Flea-Flicker” – No need to reach for the bug spray. The “Flea-Flicker” is an offensive play in which the ball is handed off, often in a double reverse, and then tossed back to the quarterback, who throws a long pass.

“Nickel Defense” – This does not refer to their salaries (which would be more millions of nickels that most of us can count). This is when the defense brings in a 5th defensive back to replace a linebacker, generally used in defense of a pass play.

“Throw a Block” – to perform a block, often does involve throwing one’s body across the field.

“Loose Ball” – We’re not passing moral judgments here. A loose ball is one that is still in play but neither team seems to be able to catch it. Whoever gets the ball first – keeps it.

“Dead ball” – It’s not really dead because, well, it wasn’t really alive to begin with. It just means that it’s no longer in play.

“Roughing the Passer” or “Roughing the Kicker” – When a defensive player makes contact with the quarterback (passer) or kicker after he does not have the ball. This is a no-no and you will be punished.

“Drop Kick” – What we’ve all had the urge to do to someone from time to time but in football you do this with the ball not the other team. Seldom used anymore, it is similar to a punt except in a drop kick, the ball is allowed to hit the ground before being kicked.

“Neutral Zone” – Similar to the DMZ, this is the area between the offensive and defensive lines at the line of scrimmage.

“Encroachment” – This would be invading the DMZ. It occurs when a player other than the center, enters the “neutral zone” and makes contact with an opposing player prior to the snap.