School
Read this, even though you are not being GRADED.

By Lauren, 18, ace student and extra-curricular guru

Q. I’m starting high school this fall and I’m really scared! Test taking and homework is going to be so much harder than middle school. How can I calm my nerves in time for the first day of school?
A. Well for the first day of school, make sure you have everything ready, I know when I am physically organized I am mentally organized. Make a list of things you will need, and what you need to bring, I have one of those dry-erase boards, which makes my life that much easier by writing things down so I don’t forget. Also, just know that everyone is in your shoes. They are just as nervous and want make a good impression too. Keeping those things in mind might help settle your nerves. Besides who ever said high school was easy? If you are organized for the big first day it might make the adjustment a little easier. Just keep calm and cool and know that it will get easier.

Q . I’m going to be the only one out of my friends to be in the AP classes for Math and English. The AP classes are considered to be “geeky” at my school, but my parents insist on me taking them for college. How can I make my family happy, without ruining my social life at school?
A. Do you know what I always say? A smart girl knows what’s best, and what’s best is your future-- which is way more important than what others may think. By the way if they are your true friends, they will stand by you no matter what classes you take. Who knows, you may be able to help them with their schoolwork if necessary. You could meet some students in the AP classes who you are more compatible with and end up making great friends with them. So be open to the experience, you can’t loose anything if you go through with this-- you’ll just gain more knowledge and new friendships. Final note: Please don’t ever make yourself seem less intelligent just to fit in!

Q . My best friend and I are in the same History class, and every time the teacher asks a question she hoots and hollers and says, “me, me, me” until she gets picked. It’s so embarrassing, what can I say to her to stop being such a spaz and give other students a chance?
A. Well your friend is eager to learn, which is a good sign, and if the teacher has no problem with it, than neither should you. However, if it continues to be difficult for you to learn in this type of environment you should approach your teacher not your friend. Talking to your friend directly might be a little too hard for her to swallow; no one wants to hear that they are a “know-it-all”. It sounds like others in the class might feel the same way you do so I think talking to the teacher might me the best solution. Additionally, if I were you, I would use it as incentive to work harder so maybe I could beat her to the punch on some of those tough questions.

4. Most of the kids at my school celebrate holidays like Christmas and Easter, but I’m Jewish so I take off other days too like for Yom Kippur and Hanukkah. I’m not ashamed of my religion, but I feel weird not being at school when everyone else is and sometimes I get left out of projects because I’m not there. What can I do?
A. I understand you’re feeling left out, no one wants to be out of the loop. However, keep in mind that the events of the week can be summed up in one e-mail or a 10-minute phone conversation. Chances are that you won’t miss much and it will probably just be a normal few days, (unless of course your school is like a BOSTON PUBLIC episode, and I would hope that you wouldn’t be apart of that much drama anyway). Just think of it is as few days out of the year when you can have a chance to celebrate who you are! Enjoy your religious experience as much as school –it’s an important part of your life too--and call your buds later to get the details of what will probably be uneventful week.

5. I think my gym teacher is hitting on me. He’ll say certain comments about what I’m wearing, like “those are some short shorts you’re wearing.” Or he’ll pat my back or massage my neck. I should probably tell someone, but I don’t want to get him in trouble if it’s nothing.
A. Girl, you need to speak your mind, what is he doing is definitely wrong and inappropriate and you and I both know it. Before this gets too weird, you need to tell one of your teachers, preferably one you are more familiar with and can trust. What he is doing to you, he may be doing to other girls, and they may be having similar feelings. So go and be the woman I know you are and tell an adult, not a friend or classmate, but either a teacher or parent-- there is nothing wrong with protecting yourself and other classmates. However, if you really have reservations about telling someone, take all your frustration and anger and use it to find the strength in you to call him on it. The next time he says anything slightly improper, you could say something like, “I really don’t think that commenting on my shorts is appropriate and it makes me feel uncomfortable!” If you are brave enough to stand up to him I guarantee you he will respect you for it and never do it again. Either way, the longer you wait the worse it will get so don’t be scared to just speak up and change the situation.

6. I recently transferred to a private all-girls school on an academic scholarship. My mom is raising me herself and we really don’t have that much money. All the girls at my school have Prada book bags and laptops they bring with them. I feel out of place because I can’t afford those luxuries, and sometimes get made fun of because of it. It’s a great school, but I hate going there every day. What can I do to make things better without giving up?
A. I know it can be hard to be reminded on a daily basis of things you don’t have, but please keep in mind that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Instead of looking at the negative in the situation let’s take another approach: 1.) You have a mother that loves you very much, who I imagine works really hard if she is a single mother, and realizes the importance of a good education. 2.) You are so lucky to have a scholarship to a school that will offer you better opportunities to get into a good college. 3.) Most of these girls you speak of probably don’t have to work very hard for their Prada book bags! You will understand the value of nice things more if you work hard for them. I know its tough because they rub it in your face all the time, but if you work hard in school now through college, just believe that you will be successful and someday afford all those nice things. We are not all born with the same opportunities and that’s just a fact of life, but you have been given a chance to succeed. Worry more about learning and growing as a person rather than material things. They must be pretty shallow if they make fun of you for not having expensive things. Maybe if you create you own (less expensive) style they will start wanting to be like you. Be yourself and show just how creative and cool you can be with your own look. I bet they will feel pretty silly when they all have the same boring stuff and you have your own shabby chic flair!

7. I really want to be a writer. I joined the school newspaper and the yearbook staff, but I want to do more. How can I go about getting an internship, and where should I start to look first?
A. The best way to get an internship is to do some research within your school before heading out into the real world. Make a list of the types of writing or the programs you are interested in being involved with, organization is key! Then, talk to your English department chair (head of English) or even your English teacher and see what they can offer you, perhaps they went through a program that really helped them, or they know of one. Usually teachers love eager students and jump at the chance to help a student to succeed. Then continue on, perhaps other teachers from the History or Science departments can help you, remember writing is in all subjects. In addition, usually your school’s college counselor can help you, they usually know enough about what colleges look for and other programs to advance your resume and keep you excited about writing. If you still want more information, ask a friend from another school about the programs they have or go to other schools and they can also give you information about programs you can get involved with, and lastly there is always the World Wide Web, where you can look up internships. Good luck, and persevere until you get what you want!

8. I had to get glasses because I couldn’t read the board at school. I hate wearing them because they make me look dorky, but at the same time I don’t want to fall behind in class. What can I do?
A. When did wearing glasses become dorky? I have plenty of friends who wear glasses, and they look amazing and brilliant. It looks like its time for a field trip to the mall to find some glasses that are right for you. Shop around, and look at the different styles, wearing glasses does not mean you have to lose your sense of style. There are many different colors and shapes that will fit your style and face. Ask a friend to help you out and take them with you for a second opinion. You don’t have to have just one pair either, switch them up once in a while. You’re gonna look beautiful and smart!

9. The big thing is making sure you have at least one friend during your lunch period to sit with, so you don’t have to sit alone. Well, not one friend is at my lunch table! I have no one to sit with. How can I ask to sit with someone without looking like a complete loser?
A. There is a simple solution to this problem, you can a) find someone in your class you recognize, you can sit and chat with about class, which can lead to other topics, b) strike up a conversation as you are buying food, c) ask your friend if she knows of anyone in your lunch hour that you could strike up a friendly conversation with, d) making friends can’t be that hard just smile and discuss something everyone knows about, latest entertainment gossip, movies, weather, sports, something going on at school, etc.

10. We have a freshmen dance coming up in October and I really want to go to it with this boy in my Algebra class, but my parents won’t let me date until I’m 16. How can I convince them to break the rules just this one time?
A. Breaking the rules was never an option for me when it came to boys with my parents, so I always had to find alternatives. Rather than trying to convince them to go solo “this one time”, go with a group. Get three or four other couples and your parents can’t say no. It is not technically a date situation and it won’t be so awkward for you and him either. This was the one alternative that my parents couldn’t argue with and I think it might work for you in this situation.