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Sisterhood
Having siblings, whether they are your step, your half or whole doesn’t matter or should be measured, it is about the love you have for each other and what you can overcome together.

by Gwen Ridoloso

I was born an only child and used to ask my Mom and Dad when I would get a baby brother or sister. They would laugh and just tell me, “Maybe one day.” As I got older, my parents’ marriage slowly and steadily fell apart. They divorced by the time I was 11 years old. I was so used to their fighting it didn’t surprise me when they told me. Where it showed was in my grades. As much as I thought I was okay, obviously it wasn’t, seeing my A-B average go down to a B-C average. Just like their marriage it was a steady decline I felt was out of my control. Luckily, I was aware of what was happening to me and realized there was no one else to blame; definitely not my parents, as much as I wanted to at the time. I did have moments when I would get angry and resentful; luckily I had my best friend Cecile to be there for me, she was the shoulder I would cry on when I felt as if my world was falling apart. I pulled myself out of my grade slump entering junior high, and things got better as I adjusted to having divorced parents.

Not long after, my Dad remarried an amazing woman I proudly call my Stepmother. I am one of the lucky ones where this story doesn’t sound like Cinderella with the evil Stepmother and Stepsisters, (although I wouldn’t mind the fairy Godmother, Prince Charming and the rest of the second half of that story). My Stepmom is great! Shortly after marrying Dad she got pregnant and gave me what I always had wished for, siblings! I now have three younger half sisters, Stephanie, Krystal and Trixy. My position in the family changed from only child to oldest child. Life became a balancing act of splitting my time between living with my mom and staying with my dad and family for short periods. Becoming an older sister while a teenager, at a time in my life when my hormones were raging, becoming curious about boys, my face breaking out, trying to maintain my grades and living between two parents was more than I could handle. I don’t know how I survived, but I did. Along with that, my responsibilities changed, I would be the first one to baby-sit my sisters, helping them with their homework, helping them with their reading, talking to them about things they were wondering about, like why we had the same dad, but not the same mom. Yes, they could be a pain sometimes, and each of us got different attention from our dad for different reasons.

What I didn’t expect was that I would get jealous at times. I was used to being an only child and getting all the attention. As much as I wanted brothers and sisters, I forgot about the attention factor. However, it dawned on me my sisters were also vying for attention individually, it wasn’t just me. You soon realize though, there’s enough love to go around for everyone. Now that they are teens themselves, when arguments and fights occur, it becomes a divided camp of two against two or one being the peacemaker between the two warring camps. There is never a time where it would be three against one (except for choosing movies to see). The “me” factor changed, to “us” and “we.” As sisters, we learned to make unanimous decisions, how to communicate with each other without having to yell (actually we’re still working on that one), stick up for each other, be there for each other and most of all understand one another.

I like being the eldest and being able to be there for Stephanie with her boy problems and giving sisterly advice, Krystal with her basketball practice and Driver’s ed, and Trixy with her homework and helping her bake cookies. I love it best when we are laughing together over something we say when we’re being silly or something we saw on TV. Having siblings, whether they are your step, your half or whole doesn’t matter or should be measured, it is about the love you have for each other and what you can overcome together.